Moving to India - Gurgaon Perspective

My family and I have recently moved to Gurgaon in India. This is a return for me after 17 years away but the first time for the rest of my family, my kids being 10 and 8. To say that this has been challenging is an understatement. Despite the advantages of fluency in language and similarity in appearance to the locals I have discovered that I am not the same 'Indian' that I was. I have managed to train myself and my children to look past the immediate chaos, squalor and civic mayhem that passes for urban living in this part of India but I am still struggling with the feeling that the affluent people in our nation display an apathetic attitude to any sense of civic or social responsibility. Certainly I am amazed at the continuing feudal structure between the haves and have-nots but also within the struggling have-nots who seem to have unwritten rules about who will deign to do what. Having said all this, I could ramble on with no thought to giving any positive ideas for any one who might find this post useful in preparing to return to India.

Visas: First things first, if you and your family are moving here with work, please make sure that all your visas are obtained in the country from which you are coming. In case anyone of you are travelling on non-Indian passports and you have non-Indian dependents moving with you, make sure you get their dependent visa, called an X-type visa, before you land in India to start your new life here. Trying to get a visa changed from tourist to dependent type once in India is a special kind of misery. Alternatively you can travel out of India every 6 months and get a new tourist visa, which becomes awkward if you have kids at school.

Foreigner Registration: In Delhi all foreign nationals on a visa which is valid for more than 6 months are required to register at the FRRO located in R K Puram. Check out this website for more info http://mha.nic.in/. In Gurgaon, you are required to register with the Depty SP’s office which is in the Mini Secretariat near Vijay Chowk as you come under the jurisdiction of the Haryana State Government.

For your info, the Ministry of Home Affairs offices are at Jaisalmer House, 26 Man Singh Road, New Delhi.

If required, ensure that you are at the office around 10:00 – 10:30 am. Though people queue outside from 8:45am, there is little adherence to the rule of first come first served, and so as long as you are there to receive a token from the ‘babu’ outside the Reception office, you will be able to join the heaving & desperate masses, trying to get new visas, extend them or get exit permits coz their visas expired!! In essence, all at the mercy of the ‘facilitators’ on the other side of the table. That is a new term which I believe the government is trying to use when describing its employees as a PR exercise to change its image, the previous term being ‘bloodsuckers’. Be prepared to spend the entire day there and I mean the entire day as you could be waiting till 10pm for the all important sealed envelope which will decide your fate.

School: One of the positive experience so far as a family has been the ease with which our kids have been integrated into the International school. Pathways World School has been a godsend for our family and if the children had not been settled into it fairly early into our stay, I shudder to think whether we would have stuck around. In case you are moving to Gurgaon and wish to consider a school other than the British or American schools (both in Chanakyapuri) do visit this website www.pathways.ac.in . The school itself is certainly well worth a visit before making the decision. Unlike the British or American International schools, Pathways does teach Hindi as a 2^nd or 3^rd language, which has been great for my kids. There are other private schools which cater to Indian and NRI families and are termed as International Schools, but I believe they follow a CBSE (Indian) system. There is the Scottish International, G.D.Goenka International School, Sriram International School and the various Delhi Public Schools. Prepare yourself for a strange phenomenon, which I have experienced in this part of India

Whenever you inquire about a product or service from a tradesperson, salesperson or employee, you will most likely hear 'Ho Jayega' which means 'it can be done' along with the appropriate head shake. This does not however mean that 'he' will be the one to do the job or get the product in the time frame that you require it. Just a little hint.

The other absolute essential is follow-up (thanks Vikram). If you need something done within a certain time-frame make sure you follow-up every day at least a few times or employ someone for all your follow-up needs. If you are moving into a rental property, ensure that your agent/employer/property-owner completes all the repair and maintenance issues before you move in. One essential is getting all the electricals/sockets/fittings checked by a reliable electrician, ask you agent, because the wiring is unreliable and unstable to say the least. Once you are in, there is little incentive on their part to complete and there is little enthusiasm on your part to have strange men walking in and out of your home.

Getting phone/gas connection for a foreign national is on par with getting a seat with Jack Nicholson at the Oscars, due to the red tape involved with providing proof of residence (copy of lease agreement), and a photo ID (passport copy) which is recognized by the supplier. The trick to getting a gas connection quickly is to agree to buy a base model 2 burner cooking hob/top (approx. Rs.2500). This miraculously speeds up the connection by a whole 3 weeks so that you get your cylinder the next day. If you are not buying one of these, you will have to have your existing cooktop ‘verified’ by their technician which can take 3 weeks.

Getting domestic help in India is not a huge problem, but reliable and diligent workers are a problem. If you have any old connections you can mine for your help requirements, please do. You might be able to pay them a little bit more than they are earning and at least have someone known to look after your children. A few of the well-established and well-run developments/complexes in Gurgaon conduct security checks on all domestic help employed within the complex and issue them with ID cards. Certainly part-time cleaners start showing up while the movers are still unpacking but if you need live-in help, I would recommend using any safe contacts you might have in other parts of India.We did. And have a police erification done.

If you have not driven in India for a few years I suggest getting a driver. The best reason for this is that you will reduce the risk of stress from road rage brought on by hours of sitting in traffic, driving alongside lawless and ignorant drivers who are using better cars/vehicles and wider roads but fewer braincells. Everyone is in a bigger rush than everyone else and relies on the horn, much like Moses did, to part the sea of vehicles in front of them. In Gurgaon the concrete centre divider separating 2 sides of a road is no match for the guy wanting to do a U-turn at the point where he chooses to. Gurgaonites can be excused as they were and are essentially farmers who are used to driving diagonally across fields to get to their destination, so what if development has raised its inconvenient head in their path.

Groceries and supermarkets are quite well-stocked and chains like ‘Needs’ or ‘Spencers’ can, within reason, supply you with the basics for an Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, European meal. Though simple things like shaved honey ham maybe more difficult to find Feta cheese, Pesto, Thai pastes etc are standard. There is a chain of deli-style shops in Delhi/Gurgaon called Le Marche at Khan Market and Galleria Market respectively. I have to admit that I am really enjoying seasonal fruit and vegetables after a steady diet of nearly everything available all year round in our previous domiciles. The quality of local fruit and veg is quite good and you can get nearly-fresh iceberg lettuce everyday. I have also managed to find a bakery in Jorbagh, through word of mouth, which sells pre-made puff pastry dough by the kilo!!!

Pollution levels are not as bad as they are reputed to be in Bombay, sorry Mumbai, can’t get used to that! Delhi still boasts of open green areas within the city, like Lodhi Gardens, Garden of the five senses, Humayun’s tomb, Talkatora Gardens. Gurgaon has at least one park, Leisure Valley Park, which is quite good for a jog or stroll. There is of course a lot of dust due to the dryness as well as the proximity to the desert in Rajasthan.

Northern summers are killers and as such please be very careful of your children spending too much time outside during the hottest part of the day. A Delhi scorcher can take the stuffing out of most adults. Lots of hydration and yoghurt/curd/lassi and staying indoors as far as possible between 9 am and 5pm !!! Hope that you move into a complex with a pool or have access to one of the social or golf clubs, which might give you an opportunity to cool off.

Now for all you ladies who might move back with or without your significant other. The North Indian male does not discriminate between married or single women when it comes to showing them his particular brand of appreciation. Please get used to swiveling heads, the need for them to brush against you in an empty open space, verbal comments, stares (tip of the iceberg), unwarranted phonecalls if you end up leaving your details somewhere. Chances are that the person pranking you on the phone is more likely to be an executive at an office than the delivery boy from the pizza place. Its the arrogance of the executive that makes him believe that he is immune to any consequence, coupled with the general belief that women are not strong enough to do anything about his behaviour.

Comments

[Ashutosh]

Interesting! I returned 6 months back after spending several years in US and had opportunities in Gurgaon and Noida. Ended up choosing Noida over Gurgaon as I found it to be relatively less chaotic even though it has a U.P.’ish feel to it. Haven’t had a single “perfect” day so far where everything went right as per the day’s plan but I haven’t given up :)

[Susan]

As a Brit married to a PIO soon to be posted to Gurgaon for two years, I find your blog very illuminating. This will be my first time in India. My husband's family emigrated to the UK in the 60's and it will be his first return visit. I imagine the culture shock will be almost as great for him as for me. Nevertheless, we're viewing this as an adventure - and we're prepared to be amazed!

Looking forward to more Lemon & Ice,

Susan

[Susan]

PS:

Geet,

If you have the time and inclination, I'd love to correspond by e-mail about life in India.

All the best,

Susan

[Geet in Gurgaon]

The Joys of an Indian Monsoon

Hello All

I am back after a lengthy and hectic, travel-wise, hiatus from this blog.

The 2 months of summer holidays allowed by the school to escape the Delhi heat is not quite sufficient as the heat doesn’t follow the same calendar!!

Instead we returned to the Northern Monsoon, slightly lower than 45 Celsius temperatures but high humidity and a complete lack of breeze.
The threat of rain gives you constant hope for some relief but doesn’t deliver very often. This is particularly true in the NCR where the construction boom has added to the dust levels in an already dry region. A word of advise to those coming to live here…….if it rains steadily for 30 minutes don’t bother venturing out into the streets unless it is absolutely unavoidable. The lack of drainage on the roads turns them into canals of murky sludge and you have no idea how deep the ruts are as previously level ground collapses into insufficiently filled areas where pipes etc. have been laid. I saw a number of 2-wheelers suddenly disappear till only their handles were visible, pedestrians stranded on the kerb/pavement unsure of where to step onto the roads to attempt a crossing of the deluge. Cars don’t fare much better, with the occasional BMW and Merc looking woeful in their new personas of partial submarines alongside the local cheaper models.

Growing up in Jamshedpur, I have nostalgic memories of the monsoons. The perfume of fresh rain on parched earth and taking hour long walks through empty streets in balmy downpours. Most commuters had sheltered under trees and watched in disbelief as my sisters and I enacted our version of Singing in the Rain. It used to take about 3 hours of rain to block the drains on those roads and cause any flooding. Within the Jamshedpur city limits civic infrastructure was maintained by Tata Steel and continues to be done so today. Even with this example in its neighbourhood the local government in Jharkhand would prefer to try and coerce Tata Steel into funding & taking over the civic responsibilities in Ranchi (capital) than emulate it themselves despite a fully staffed PWD Public Works Department.
What the Tata Steel model goes to show is if each city council or MCD actually took the initiative, these bodies could make more money by imposing and collecting fines for littering, organising regular inspections, garbage collection, and any number of other civic functions which could be charged to all the end users, commercial, government or private.

It would of course require some degree of integrity and drive to make something like this work. Development in Gurgaon (including DLF) is of the type where the numbering of the Sectors is based on when a development was built/sold, not on an overall plan already assigned with consecutive Sector numbers. This means that if you want to get from Sector 30 to 31, please stop and ask for directions or consult a map as they are not likely to be adjacent. With such ad hoc growth where is the thought to organising and implementing centralised civic amenities. Development is undertaken as a short-term endeavour, where the developer tries to sell as much off the plan as possible and then is not accountable for any shortages in power/water/civic supplies. There is currently a legal battle going on between the developer at Central Park (one of the better developments to live in) and the apartment owners. The bone of contention is the Club House (gym, pool, tennis courts etc.) which owners were originally lured with as part of their purchase in to the development. Now that the project is nearly finished, the developer wants the owners to pay more before they will make the Club House accessible and they also want to open it to public membership, making a mockery of the security gates which are supposed to afford privacy to the inhabitants!!! The losers, other than the owners, in this are the many tenants who were promised a club house with facilities by assorted rental agents and moved in there instead of somewhere else where their kids might have had access to a pool.

I had hoped to impart some knowledge about International schools before going on the summer break but will do so now. In a nutshell it will cost a primary level child approx. USD15,000 in the first year at the British School and approx. USD42,700 in the first year at the American school. The fees go up in middle and high school and you can consult those fees by clicking on the links below.

For the American Embassy School, New Delhi please click on http://aes.ac.in/web/AES/index.htm

For the British School, New Delhi please click on
http://www.british-school.org/newsite/index.php
http://www.british-school.org/newsite/parents_and_teachers/fee_structure.php

For Pathways International School click on
http://pathways.ac.in/admissions_feestructure.asp

I believe there is a German school in Delhi, but I don’t have any detailed knowledge about it. Please click on http://www.gsis.edu.hk/important-links/german.php

There are locally run International schools like the following:
http://www.scottishigh.com/contact.htm
http://www.vasantvalley.org/
http://www.tsrs.org/

If any of you have any questions I will try to assist with the same.

For the moment I have to end here and wish you all a very Happy Raksha Bandhan.

[Suja]

"USD42,700 in the first year at the American school." whew! ... Now, most desis in pardes would be content to have their kids enjoy public school; wonder how many of them could afford this in America. :-)

[Silvia]

Hi! I'm so happy to have come across your site! I moved to Gurgaon from Chicago to be with my hubby who's Indian, and I love it! One question for you- I am Registered nurse but do not want to work in th hospitals here, I'd love to perhaps babysit in my home. Can you please tell me if this is common to do, or is it not really heard of in India? I love kids, don't have any yet and am 34, non-Hindi speaking though. Any input would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks! Silvia [email protected]

[Connie]

Hi, I am not indian and also suffering with culture :) I have a question. Can I work with X type visa ? I am accompanying my husband here, and doing volunteer work, but I am not happy with my volunteer work. So i thought about working, but I don t want to upset the NGO because they gave me all the papers to get my X type visa. My husband studies at this NGO, and I applied as a housewife and volunter. But now I don t want to volunteer for them anymore. Any help ?? Thanks a lot. Your country is beautiful, but maybe I will come back in 150 years ? hahaha

[Raj]

Great article by Geet. And very true. I am a NR2I2R i.e.
Australian resident returned to India to Return. After 12 years in Sydney I returned to Delhi/ Noida for 3-4 years but returned much earlier back to Sydney. Not because that I did not like it there but for career reasons. For a right opportunity I’d like to return again.

Most of the experiences I had were similar i.e. with servants, poor electricity, water problems in Noida, UP bhaiyas and their traffic sense – you need a local driver to drive and also to shout at others. Off course lots of good things like immediate connection with friends, relatives, variety of affordable foods in restaurants (never cooked on weekends), never had to wash and iron or clean or do small jobs; servants at home and assistants at work would happily do that. Attend all weddings, family functions etc.
Beware of 'Ho Jayega' attitude of worksman unless referred by someone try them at your own risk. From electrician to AC fitter I had problems with all of them. They all overate their skills.

Also I think it’s a great myth when people say their kids (primary) wont be able to adjust, its just a excuse. I found my kid adapted so well (in school & neighbourhood) after 3-4 months that their overall happiness level increased.

There are problems in India as well as in west, it depends which set of problems would you rather live with?

[Aruna]

Great article Geet! We are planning on moving to India on an ex pat assignment. I get so nervous at the thought of my children adjusting in to a school there - - thinking they might be made fun of. Pathways seems like a great option.But it seems rather out of the way for us as we plan to live near Connaught PLace. We are thinking of sending the kids to the American Embassy School for a year and then maybe move them to a local school . What do you feel? Any advice would be much appreciated. My kids are almost 11 and 9. Thanks!

Aruna

[linda brown]

where pray tell do you find this bakery in jorbagh. and perhaps you might tell me where le marche is in khan market. i was there the other day and could not find it.

thanx in advance, linda

[Steve Marks]

Hi, I lived in Bangalore for 5 years (99-04) and now I have been asked by my company to consider a time in Gurgaon. Does anybody have any idea how th etwo cities compare? Clearly they are a long way apart physically. I did visit Gurgaon a couple of times and remember it as quite clean and seemed to be afluent. is this correct?

Thanks

[Geet in Gurgaon]

Hi Linda

I am sorry but a comparison between Gurgaon and Bangalore is out of my scope as I have not yet managed to get there on my travels. There have been a few improvements in Gurgaon since we moved here 18 months ago. The NH8 highway between Delhi and Gurgaon has halved travel time. There are now quite a few malls and you can source most things like cold meat, wine etc. right here. Though I still find a shop called Steakhouse in Jorbagh (Central Delhi)do the best ham and smoked salmon outside of the Oberoi deli. There is a thriving expat network here which helps the partners/spouses find everything they need, from domestic help to best places to party etc. If you are coming over please get in touch and we'll put your name on the Gurgaon Network yahoo group so you can get all the messages.

Cheers and Good luck

[Geet in Gurgaon]

Hi sorry..duh...the last post was a reply to Steve's question nto Linda's!! ;)

[Geet in Gurgaon]

Hi Linda,
If you haven't found it yet Le Marche in Khan Mkt is along the back next to Allied fruit and vegetable. Take the lane next to Bahrisons booksellers and turn right when you face the carpark, its the 6th or 7th shop along. Apologies for the delay in responding...i've been very lax with keeping the blog uptodate.

[Vandita]

Hi,

Thats a lovely write up. We have moved from Singapore. I have a two and a half year old baby girl called Tia. We stay at The Laburnum in Sushant Lok I in Gurgaon. Our story is quite similar to yours. We are Singapore citizens and lived there for many years. We are from pune and just cant seem to connect with the locals here and we are too indian to fit in the foriegn expat network. Hope you get what i mean. I was a flight attendant with singapore airlines. My husband is GM, North India for Lufthansa German Airlines. We are really bored here and looking for friends.Is there an indian expat network here? This will really help,hopefully.

[Geet in Gurgaon]

Hi Vandita

There is another coincidence....we are also in the same complex. My intercom number is 1101. I am usually home in the evening and definitely till about 9:30ish most mornings.

Feel free to call.

Cheerz

[maggie bryant]

I am a brit. expat. My husband works in Gaugoan. Is there a meat shop where I can buy fresh lamp, pork or chicken.
Also is there an international expat club where I can make new friends.

[maggie bryant]

I am a brit. expat. My husband works in Gurgoan. Is there a meat shop where I can buy fresh lamp, pork or chicken.
Also is there an international expat club where I can make new friends.

[Lindsey Ferreira]

Hi
I am also a Brit expat and moved here a few weeks ago with my husband and am finding it very difficult to adjust. Not used to being without friends and family is very hard,to say the very least.
I would very much like to meet new people soon
Many thanks

[Lindsey Ferreira]

Hi
I am also a Brit expat and moved here a few weeks ago with my husband and am finding it very difficult to adjust. Not used to being without friends and family is very hard,to say the very least.
I would very much like to meet new people soon
Many thanks

[Lindsey Ferreira]

if you are looking for a good meat shop, I have come across a not too bad one in Galleria DLF 4, it is also a Le Marche but it is a totally differnt shop to the grocery store. Same chain though and in the same complex

[Tahna]

Hello!

I am an Australian female looking for a flat mate.

Please contact me on 09765526405 if you might know someone who would be interested.

Many Thanks

[tina sapra]

hi can anyone guide me to monthly fees and up front fees of pathways/gd goenka....thanks
tina

[Juhie]

Hi,

Can Anyone suggest which residential apartments in Gurgaon would be the nearest to lease /rent if we plan to put our 8 year old son to Pathways world School in the Aravali Retreat, Gurgaon. My Husband would be commuting to Noida daily for his work ,any other suggestions /options of staying would also be appreciated.

Thanks,
Juhie.